Although people around me called me Holy, I was such a rotten sinner on the inside. the biggest challenge i found was forgiving myself. using my carnal mind, i could always create ways of avenging my own sin. For exmaple; i could go hungry for a long while (not fasting), stay in the cold, isolate myself, punch hard surfaces etc. i knew that the Bible says that vegeance is for the Lord but the devil made sure that i felt guilty and think that without doing a thing, God could not forgive me. i reached an extent where by i could not even go to church cause every time they sang a song saying ‘we lift up holy hands’ the guilt hit me hard. i went for a new life class which i used to despise because i was saved for quite a while. God used one of my teachers to hit at me about avenging my own sin. from that day, i learnt that one should not take the gospel for granted no matter how basic it looks in certain aspects. people who have been born again for so many years tend to undermind certain basic bibilical principles. I encourage you to keep your head up no matter how many times you fall. there is a difference between living in sin and falling into sin. we all fall into sin, that is ok, but we should not live in sin.
